Honey, Don’t Bother Mommy. I’m Too Busy Defending my Blogging. Again.

By now, I’m sure many have seen a little of the fallout from the NY Times article by Jennifer Mendelsohn. For those trying to catch up, Mendelsohn wrote a piece covering “Bloggy Bootcamp“, yet another blogging conference, this one organized by the SITS girls. So what was wrong with the piece? Not much, in reality. Yes, it was a little snarky (real time girly bonding, anyone?). She could have been better about providing links to the bloggers she mentions. Basically, though, this article was written about one particular conference, it’s focus and attendees. It wasn’t meant to be an all-encompassing look at mommy bloggers, even though many are up in arms because of all the article did not say. They’re pissed the article didn’t talk about the charity work, the fundraising they do. They’re pissed with the title, which was a little derogatory and misleading, but aren’t most titles misleading? Mostly, though, they’re pissed over their PERCEPTIONS of what the article said. Even when the article said nothing close to what they claim.

Holy crapola, you’d think the NY Times had written in BIG BLACK LETTERS that mommy bloggers abused and neglected their children, from the posted reactions. You’d swear that perhaps Mendelsohn had suggested that mommy bloggers should kick off those women’s lib shoes and haul their pregnant, barefoot asses back to the kitchen. Dozens of angry responses, dozens of bloggers taking great exception to this article. Except that many of the angriest responses are centering on what the article did not say and, embarrassingly enough, many are from people who freely admit they didn’t take the two minutes necessary to read the article. And yet, they still want their opinions to be taken seriously. The ironic thing, to me, is that the NY Times piece was more reasonable and balanced than some of the “squeeeeee!!!!!” type reviews I’ve read of BlogHer, and other blogger conferences. At least the NY Times piece didn’t have the obligatory “look at me with my hands on the tits (oh, excuse me “BEWBS”)  of some woman I hardly know. Aren’t I just the coooolest?”

There are far, far too many women blogging under the “mommyblogger” genre. Most of these mommy blogs are far from professional; most are far from achieving financial security through their blogs. Very, very few are making enough money to be considered true income, and very few ever will. Yes, there are notable exceptions. Yes, there are some very professional blogs, with talented authors behind them. These are exceptions to the rule. Not the norm. I remember when blogging was still pretty new, and how entrancing some of those blogs were. Now, unfortunately, most of what were once good blogs are now ugly affairs, with ads outweighing the writing, products and giveaways being the focus for many.

Mommybloggers want to be seen as something more than just a mom, yet an overwhelming number choose to refer to themselves and their blogs with yet another cutesy variation of mama, mommy, momalicious? How can you expect to be taken seriously as a businessperson, to be considered something more than “just a mom” if you CHOOSE to brand yourself (and branding is what ALL the cool moms are doing) as a mom? How can you expect to be taken seriously as a business person when you suggest in your taglines that motherhood is such a chore, that you risk your sanity with motherhood? How many “mom” blogs have we all seen that imply that a good stiff drink is what’s necessary to survive?

Mommy bloggers want you to know they are more than just SAHM. They want the world to know that they are contributing to their families finances with their blogs. They want the world to understand that they are not just bloggers, they are BRANDS, by God. But they aren’t. Most blogs will never, ever make more than a pittance through advertising. Most mommy bloggers are indeed just moms. There’s nothing wrong with the “glorified electronic scrapbooks” of most mombloggers. Not everyone can, or indeed should, shoot for those branded stars. And they should definitely never, ever engage in blogging just for the swag. And yet, we hear over and over again, mostly from mommy bloggers it should be noted, that there is indeed a culture of swag-starved mommy bloggers attending these events. Remember the uproar over swag at BlogHer? Remember all the controversy that has come from most female dominated blog conferences? I don’t know about you, but I haven’t read any accounts of face slapping pregnant women at SXSW. I don’t recall ever hearing anything coming from male tech conferences about concerted online campaigns to malign a fellow attendee. I don’t read too many accounts of tech conferences that refer to men literally pushing each other down in an attempt to get a Mr. Potato Head, or water bottle, either.

Mombloggers want to be taken as seriously as the men, but don’t want to act that way. They object to being consider frivolous, flighty little things without a brain in their head, but then proceed to drink mimosas from plastic sippy cups. WITH A REPORTER IN ATTENDANCE. It’s hard to understand how going to a conference labelled “Bloggy Bootcamp” (what are we? Twelve?), run by a group of women who refer to themselves as girls, is supposed to enhance your professional street cred. Perhaps when mommybloggers themselves start treating their professional events professionally, then the media might just catch up.

PS – I’d like to make it clear from the beginning that I do not know the SITS girls, and I know nothing about Bloggy Bootcamp. This post is not intended to disparage them, or the work they do.